Filed under: Humor, Blogstorm, Sex, NSFW
So this past Tuesday I heard about a blog called To My Wife through the grapevine. Its premise was pretty simple: one dude, John Jannuzzi, was writing brief messages to his future wife, a woman he hasn't met yet, detailing his hopes and guidelines for their life together. Having followed and loved Rules for My Unborn Son (an unrelated blog with a similar premise written by a one-day dad for his hypothetical child), I decided to check it out.
Right off the bat I understood why it was getting a ton of buzz, because who isn't refreshed and surprised to see a young man not only acknowledging but looking forward to marriage in 2k11? No one. It's the stuff of urban legend. But the more I read posts like, "French toast? Yah, that's what I thought. Nom Nom Nom." the more I realized that this was not a picture of marriage I related to.
The summary of my reaction I posted to my personal blog that night was: "This blog's gonna get this guy laid by women who aren't me (but who I know exist because everyone is an idiot)."
Harsh, perhaps. But whatever, John and I have since been introduced and we're good.
Later that evening one of my blogging acquaintences who runs her own advice site, Coke Talk, emailed me with a proposition: how about we try out a marriage blog of our own, but cut out all of the Velveeta and sugar. What if we made a blog about what we really think our marriages will look like?
Thus was born To My Husband (NSFW language), and a couple of hours later, after taking a few shots at some posts and building up a few pages of content, we invited a bunch of our favoritie lady-bloggers to contribute their guildelines and jokes. The end result is a panel of some of my favorite women on the internet that draws on our collective wisdom and neurotic internal goldmines to provide a blunt and funny look at what it's gonna be like when someone puts a ring on it.
Some of my favorites so far:
- Our Prenup Sudden interest in Two And A Half Men by either party shall render our marriage null and void.
- It's Okay I know you spank it to porn on the internet. No really. I don't care.
- If You Take Me To Something With "Couples" In the Title I will tell everyone you're living out a marriage fantasy, and that I'm a paid escort sent by the Make-A-Wish foundation.
- Laundry Day I will pretend that the skid marks in your boxer briefs are a sign that we've achieved ultimate intimacy, and you can pretend that the period stains in my panties are Rorschach tests.
- Social Media Updates No one will ever read about our 'charming' trip to 'the most darling' apple orchard over the weekend, or the 'lovely [thing]' you gave me for my birthday in their newsfeeds because my media's for poop jokes and Rihanna quotes till death do my laptop and I part.
As people begin to find out about TMH, spinoff blogs are starting to appear, and it's creating a bit of a meme in the tumblrverse.
The first was To My Tumblr Wife, where one blogger has taken it upon himself to respond to each of our posts with his own witty retorts.
The next was To Your Husband, a blog run by a tumblr bro who wants to level with our future husbands man-to-man. His slogan? "Just because you married my friend doesn't mean I want to be your friend."
The third, to my knowledge, is called To My 50 Cats, which is run by someone who plans on finding neither a husband nor a wife -- but settling down someday with a whole bunch of cats to call their own.
It's only been three days, so we're still in the baby-horse-standing-up-for-the-first-time phase of this process, but if our beginning is any indicator I'm gonna be laughing alone at my computer well into 2k11.
- link:// To My Husband
- link:// To My Wife
